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I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.