Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
"And then I rented a monster truck and drove it through their f*cking house!" - How all my stories would end if I was a billionaire.
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.