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I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.