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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.