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Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.