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SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour