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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.