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That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, Iām going back to bed.
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Some days I just wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.