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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
I`m horrible with women. Probably because I only know like 3 shades of gray.
is available for rebound sex.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Can`t they just make a "Poke infinity" button?
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.