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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I love this oscillating fan, 5 out of every 15 seconds.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
I declare today, β€œHit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.