Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
My bed is half full - Lonely optimist.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
And I was like “No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi.” And she was all “Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies.”
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".