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Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Just found out that I’m 53 Cheetos tall.
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
Gym update: not there
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.