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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".