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What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.