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McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.