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If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?