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Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I always say, your laundry is never completely done, unless you do it in the nude. Which probably explains the strange looks at the laundrymat this afternoon.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....