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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
What if the weather talks about us?
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Im at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to sh!t faster because it`s cold.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.