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I’m going to start wearing a whistle around my neck, so I can call penalties on people who piss me off.
I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re my bartender & you say "This guy looks like he needs another double vodka martini" then please do..
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
I saw a fat lady with a "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. I asked "money over B*tches?" She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Home alone… Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.