Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always like to keep a nice photo of myself for my Facebook profile pic because that is the picture that will be splashed all over the news when I finally go off the deep end.
Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon.
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper