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I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...