Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.