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Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Silence is Golden, except when coming from children… Then you’d better go check to see what’s broken.
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
Can I get likes for no reason?
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic