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This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.