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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.