Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.