Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For once Iād like to get kicked into a bar
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on