Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.