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Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor