Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.