Daily Silly Status

I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."

Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)

Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."

I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord

How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?

I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.

I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...

Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture

You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.

Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.

Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."

Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.

Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.

I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.

For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.