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Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.