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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.