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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Even if I’m mad at my wife I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
I am the bestest at the English language...
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!