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Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.