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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
I am the bestest at the English language...
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
Does running out of money count as exercise?