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My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
I drink to make other people interesting
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
Just watched (insert title of horror movie) and it wasn`t scary at all. The crap in my pants is a pure coincidence.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.