Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
A murderer was about to be put to death in the electric chair. "Do you have any last requests?" asked the chaplain. "One," he replied. "Will you hold my hand?"
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?