Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.