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Shoutout to my parents for not wearing a condom and creating the most awesome person alive.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
This recliner and I go way back.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.