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Never trust a skinny chef
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
life is short play naked
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate