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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it