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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it`s not, because morning sucks.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
Whoever says "you need two to tango" obviously hasn`t seen me drunk.
Anything can be considered your job if you hate it enough.
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.