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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.