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A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!