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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.