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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
I self medicate, therefore you live.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.