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"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?