Daily Silly Status

Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.

Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.

I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?

That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide

When I bust a move , it stays busted.

loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.

I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.

If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.

People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?

What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!

Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.

You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?

I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.

I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.

The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.