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I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you