Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.