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I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.