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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.