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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
I`m never free but I`m available.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!