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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
Some people should come with subtitles.