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I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
really vry funny
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.